Sô gbô?👂

Of all the dates you have been on, which one is the most memorable for you? 🥰 The one with Bode shey? 😍 Why do you still think about the day as if it happened yesterday and why your other dates haven't been like 'THAT ONE' with Bode?😁 I can tell you that it must have been his acts of thoughtfulness which could have been a gesture, a question that he asked, a gift or something in the moment.  One of the skills that I have seen not often spoken about but is responsible for why people get preferred over others is the skill of 'thoughtfulness'.  Thoughtfulness is not a virtue as many have made it seem, it is a skill.  It is the ability to voluntarily take an extra step to further add colour to a project or make someone feel better on your own knowing that even without the extra contribution the result will still be predictable.  It is why people will want to have you by their side, run ideas by you and even include you in the execution.  We as humans love people ...

There will come a time when the light of fame will be on you, when it comes, if you don't know how to manage the weight of the spotlight, you will crash and will easily be forgotten. There are reports of former footballers who despite all the monies they got paid in their prime got into lack at their latter years.  There is a deception about the nature of the spotlight, when it shines on you, it will look as though it will be on you forever. I mean, the blogs have your name, VVIP tickets are delivered to you for free, brands jostling to have you at their events, your face is many posters etc.. You see, the technology to manage the spotlight requires more than many realize. One person who I have seen manage his nicely is 'Kunle Remi'. The guy from the Anikulapo movie.  Not too long after his fame, he got married.  The spotlight is heavy and to have a woman who loves you, you love, that supports you in managing the spotlight and can realign you when deviating from course is...

The state that describes how that a clown 🤡 who makes people laugh but still battles depression and anxiety is called 'Sad Clown Paradox'. There's a research that showed many comedians battle with self-esteem and childhood trauma issues. Some very early saw making people laugh as a self-preservation technique in the sense that it can detach them from any adversity faced allowing for perceived control over uncomfortable situations. Whilst they make you laugh, some cry in their rooms. Some even settle for drug and substance abuse. The research further showed that there is an ever-present anxiety amongst comedians that their popularity may disappear tomorrow and hence they may be driven to exhaustion in their work.  Some of them go back home and start pondering why out of everyone who laughed at a joke, one guy right in the front seat didn't laugh.😂 It is amazing how your eyes can race past the laughs of many in the room to catch just one person who seem to be uninteres...

One of the biggest issues in this time and age is 'indecision'. It is becoming increasingly difficult to choose a job, business or a person and commit to it. Social media seems to be painting a world without flaws hence our relentless pursuit. There is the question 'What if I commit to this one and another one comes that is better than this?' Usually, people who think like this.. 1. Lose jobs. The recruiting company has a deadline and may fill the role with someone else who is decisive and chooses them. 2. Lose out on the gains of executing fantastic ideas. Every problem you spot is not peculiar to only your eyes. There are others who have spotted it too. Once you delay because of indecisiveness, someone else who sees the problem and offers himself to solve it, funds to support that decision flow to his direction. 3. Lose out on a person or people. This is common. Soon, the person who is cool seeking for your love and asked you both to be together but you are indecisi...

Have you noticed that some of your friends you underrated in school because they struggled academically, have good jobs now? Some of the ladies you felt will find it difficult to look attractive to a man because of their color combination when they came for lectures in school and yoruba-garnished accent are happily married with kids now, while you are still actively single struggling to get a good man. Some of the guys and ladies you called unambitious when it had to do with academics but were very entrepreneurial in your university days are now very comfortable doing business internationally. As humans we are quick to judge by what we can see and assume that what is, is all that can be.  We forget that the person you are writing off maybe a job interview away, one scholarship away, one call away from his/her breakthrough. By now, you know that fast people don't always win the race, strong people don't always win the battle and that a person can be smart yet jobless and broke. ...

A man had a dog He loved so much. 🐶 One day, he got a call to travel down from his country to another country to manage a project which would be the biggest project of his career at that time. Given how long he will be staying for the task, he decided to take his dog along with him.  When he got to the airport with his dog, he was asked to present a document that shows that the dog was fit healthwise to fly with him. He quickly left to see a Veterinary Doctor who performed a quick assessment of the dog and told him that the dog wasn't fully well and will need about three days with proper medication to get well.  He persuaded the doctor to please pass his dog fully fit as his flight was taking off in 20 mins.  The doctor didn't bulge one bit.  So this man had the option of either missing his flight to take care of his dog or let the dog go and fly out for a lifetime project to return only God knows when.  He chose to let the dog go albeit with tears in his eyes ...

In the olden days, Kings weekly took out time to teach their young princes the way of life of Kings and the modus operandi of the palace. One of the lessons taught is that money isn't the only tool of transaction but that 'Words are currencies'. The ability to know when, how, who to talk to, where to say it and what to say is one that Kings are made to hone from a very young age.  You must learn not to cheapen your words.  Nothing should leave your tongue without substance.  Even if it's a joke, it should carry a level of substance, weight and dropped at the right time.  When people observe that your words are empty, they will subconsciously put you in a class of those that they shouldn't expect a lot from when you hold the mic.  They will recommend you less for opportunities and close doors by default as they assume you may not represent them well. You can change this perspective although it's hard.  Let me share 8 rules to spend your words like a King....

 If you expect everyone to be kind, humane and loving sincerely just like you, you are in the wrong planet. Here, when most people find you kind but without boundaries, you will be taught a painful lesson. Here, there are scavengers everywhere seeking to take from what you have (money, energy, efforts, time and joy) and leave you with nothing to figure your way out not caring how you feel. It pains me when I see really kind people get hurt at work, in business and relationship as they haven't learnt how to spot manipulation and leave with supreme peace. Dear Kind people, 1. Learn to have and handle difficult conversations. It doesn't hurt much to have when unsure.  2. Set boundaries. As a businessman, set your price and what amount you can't go below. Guess what? Funny that people love and trust people who have boundaries.  3. No is a statement. Say it when you just can't.... 4. When you notice you are the only one giving and sacrificing, it's wisdom to chill. You d...

Some years ago on LTV, I saw the video of a song by a late artiste that caught my attention. Let me try to retell the story the way I remember it.  He told the story of a man who married his sweetheart🥰. His first wife died right in the hospital after the delivery of her son that same night.   The man married another wife that same year to stand by his side and to take care of his baby boy. This second wife was so sweet and caring that you will think she gave birth to the boy.  Soon, the second wife gave birth to a boy.  From the day she gave birth to her son, she started plotting the death of the first son.  She got a bottle of poison and waited for a perfect day to execute her plan.  So one day, she prepared two types of porridge. Porridge, again?  Yes, the same that Jacob served Esau🤣 She garnished one with different combination of spices, ponmo and vegetables with red oil 😋.  The other, she didn't add spice and prepared it bare. She se...

What will you call a person who ordered for a ride to the market, only to buy an egg to add to 2 sachets of noodles? 😁 I mean, he paid N6000 to a bolt driver depending on the distance to buy an egg.🙆🏽‍♂️ You see, every decision made based on the present alone is most times the wrong one.  Whether to accept a business deal or not, accept a job offer or not, invest money in a project or not, say Yes or No to someone for a relationship.  Sometimes, you are pressed on every side to sign a deal or make a choice that you know isn't what will give you joy, peace and help fulfill destiny. What is easy to do is to make a wrong decision consciously at that point which might seem to give you this 'feel good' feeling but may only last a while.  Others make decisions out of fear of 'I may never find a good one'. When the fear of not losing out totally sponsors your action, you may have just programmed pain for yourself.  You know what you want, shey? Wait strategically, praye...

King Sunny Ade as a young man and an upcoming artist desired visibility, platforms and money. He was introduced to Chief Bolarinwa Abioro who had a popular record label at that time. The same man used to pay artists like Ayinde Bakare, Sikiru Ayinde Barrister and even Pa Ebenezer Obey  On meeting Chief Abioro, KSA prostrated like a proper yoruba champ.  He asked King Sunny Ade questions to which he answered. He was presented a contract to which he appended his signature quickly. He was eager to be heard by the world 😁💃🏼🌎. What he didn't know was that, in that contract it was stated that, on the sale of every album which was then fixed at N6, King Sunny Ade & His boys were entitled to a sum of 20Kobo while His boss got N5.80Kobo .🙆🏽‍♂️ You too do the Maths.  Fair?  It took Late Chief Fawehinmi to help King Sunny Ade recover his due after a long court battle.  You will agree that in life some decisions requires time, scrutiny and conviction than others....

Is it possible for one to be so exhausted by life's many troubles that one wishes for a total life of meaningless silence and even death?  Absolutely!  Many years ago, a man once killed about 400 prophets after winning a bet. While he was thinking of celebrating his victory, he got an info that a bounty has been placed on his head by Mrs J.  He ran for his life, hid in a mountain, looked into the heaven and asked that his life be taken from him.  In his words, 'I have had enough, let me die, I am no better than my forefathers '. A guy who is a medical doctor and has been applying for jobs unsuccessfully for years can one day decide to relocate to his father's house in the village and start selling matches.🕯️ Two people can be tired of trying to make their relationship work after many attempts and moments of stress. 💔 Burnout can even come from the prolonged stress at work. Life can press one to the wall that a person watch everything built to collapse without makin...

Banky W who is a popular music artiste was invited to audition for the role he played in the Wedding Party.  He said he got to the venue and found some strong and popular actors than himself who were also invited to audition for the role.  He admitted that these were top people in the movie industry. He mentioned how that he was scared at first but stayed to audition anyway. His chemistry with Adesua in playing lovers was unmatched, hence his selection.🥰 Isn't this how many people react when they mount a stage and standing next to them are people that are at the very top? I tell you it can be intimidating just by standing in the presence of a person who seems to be more popular than you in your industry - food, music, fashion, movie etc.  Even without them saying anything to disparage you, you have admitted defeat despite your many nights of preparation, practice and rehearsals, only to throw it all away because of the presence of a person who doesn't have time thinking ...

Back in secondary school, we were all always punished for making noise.  We had too many extroverts that liked telling gists🤣 Once the noise started, a teacher will come in, ask us all to stand, raise our hands and close our eyes. This included both those of us who were quiet and the noisemakers themselves. 😌 But it was fun sha.😁 In SS 1, we were taught in Economics that resources are limited.  This means that you need to make do with what you have to meet your needs. Next to that was the concept of scarcity.  It means that when you find what or who looks like what you want you must hold on to that as you may never find anything like that even if the thing, opportunity or person wants out.  From that point our minds were framed to get too detached to preferred outcomes. It is reason once there's a sign that we are losing out, we get agitated and depressed. If you get a job that pays you well and all of a sudden, the company decides to downsize with your name on th...

A man visited his preferred hospital for his regular monthly checkup and was told that there is a cockroach 🪳 close to his heart given the X-ray result.  Cockroach?? He screamed.😨 The doctor pointed to the cockroach as seen in the X-ray result. The doctor gave him some drugs and asked him to prepare for a surgical work in 7 days.  The man went home sad with tears in his eyes.  He couldn't tell his wife at first but opened up about it when he couldn't sleep. They both started crying as they have been married for 8 years and have two kids. Every little sensation in his body, he shouted and credited it to the cockroach.  After a few days, his wife seeing that her husband was looking sad asked that they visit a doctor friend.  They visited him and he was surprised at the 'cockroach' in the body news so he asked to conduct another X-ray in his hospital for the Man. When the X-ray was done, the result came out perfect. He hugged his wife happily😁💃🏼 While, they we...

There is an old saying that 'the shadow of a dog never bit anyone.'  Is it not surprising that we as humans naturally most times assume the worst will happen to us? So we prepare our minds for failure and we even verbalize it. We go ahead to defend that negative stance by saying ' It is good to expect failure so that when you fail, you will not feel the pain that much.'.🙆🏽‍♂️ Many people have said many negatives about themselves that have come through and they pride in it by saying to their friends 'You know I told you that it won't work'.  At the root of this is 'fear'.  An MC about to anchor an event has already meditated and even told his friends how the event won't go well. He has concluded in his mind that the audience won't respond to him, the mics won't work and how he won't be liked.  On the day of the event, everything he meditated comes to pass. He gets back and tells his friends how he knew it that the event will be a mes...

Why is it that some of the saddest moments or feelings mostly tend to come after a moment of tremendous joy and good news?  Just imagine that you were happy about something, could be a job or a relationship and some moments later, you become sad and have almost the exact opposite feeling of what you once felt. A friend walked up to me and told me how that he asked a lady to be his, she said YES, he was happy but just two weeks later, he started feeling unhappy and thoughts about if he made a bad move filled his heart. He was sincere enough to tell me the lady didn't do anything wrong. So that I am clear on what advice to give, I asked him, 'How long have you both known?' He said 3 years. Then, what he was feeling cannot be the consequence of infatuation nor was it situationally or environmentally influenced.  I mean, a guy who has been desiring a lady for three years and she said 'Yes' to him and then almost immediately starts feeling unhappy.  This applies to secur...

A friend of mine got married to his sweetheart🥰 some years back but what I can't forget was a question he asked his woman while proposing to her. He proposed in a neat restaurant in Lagos. I and another friend were seated far from them as cameramen. I had a phone with me to record the whole thing secretly as planned with my friend as the lady didn't know that the day was the day.😁🥰 We had planned everything and even did some scripting as Baba was scared😁 When it was time, after telling her how much he wanted her, he asked her the question 'What should I look forward to with you as my wife?'. She responded, 'Sweet🥰, I promise to give you peace, love you wholeheartedly, stand & pray with & for you and make a great mother for your children'.  Sweeettttt 🥰😁  He was impressed that he abandoned our script and went on one knee immediately😅.  He couldn't wait to do life with her. 💯 Far away where we were, we quickly came out of our hidden places 😅...

  A guy meets a lady, they connect very well. They talk almost 24/7 a day. Nothing about getting into a relationship was mentioned. He assumes they are dating by the many projections from the lady. She also can sense that he likes her and pretends that she is in with him whereas there's the main guy that she is seeing seriously.  He noticed that he can't see her status anymore but doesn't see that as a big deal.  She cooks for him and in return he will regularly get her a bouquet of flowers 🌺💐 from Konga and orders Rose 🌹 on Jumia. She smells it, 'hmmm, it smells nice,' she said✨😁 He has changed her name on his phone to 'Till Infinity'. She sees it and she pretentiously blushes before him.  They both had a video call with Mama in the village. His father is late. Mama prayed for both of them 'I will carry your children', they both said 'Amen'.  This guy is a nice guy but she doesn't like him enough to be her husband but won't tell ...

Now let's talk about 'Gaslighting'. 'Gaslighting' is an ancient way of manipulation. It's to manipulate a person with the intention that the person feels guilty or takes the position that the gaslighter pleases. Simply put, saying what makes a person question his/her person, perception and act. Some bosses are 'Gaslighters'. Some guys are 'gaslighters'. Some ladies are 'gaslighters'. Our world is full of them. Workplace: Your boss can be a gaslighter. She talks down on your effort or your work so that when she adds more to your work you won't push back. Some bosses gaslight their staffers to the point that a staff can doubt his/her ability and all of a sudden think he/she is not good enough anymore. Sometimes you find victims anxious and afraid when they want to go to work and submit a task. In relationship: It's worse here. He says things to make you feel guilty when in actual fact, he is the one to be blamed. When the relationsh...